Comments on: (Some) True Confessions of a Self Harmer http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/ An open blog project to raise awareness of mental health Tue, 15 Dec 2009 08:28:01 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: B http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-637 B Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:18:29 +0000 http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-637 I started again. I started again.

]]> By: J.J. http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-636 J.J. Fri, 20 Nov 2009 01:55:29 +0000 http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-636 I have been a I have been a

]]> By: Beck http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-627 Beck Wed, 11 Nov 2009 06:55:21 +0000 http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-627 Thanks for writing this, i felt so relieved reading it, i know I'm not alone in this but its hard to find others that REALLY understand what its like.... I started when I was 12, now I'm 29 and i still do it. I wish I didnt, god i wish i didnt but i get the urge and i have to, i dont understand why i cant ignore the urge. I never understood the thing about it being a release, for me it has always been a way to check if i really am real, if i actually exist. I know i exist when i do it but then in a few hours i forget; i cant remember what finding out that i am real felt like so i have to do it again. I wish there was another way. I've been in therapy since i was 13 and nothing has changed in regard to S.H.-ing, I fear it will always be the only way I can tell if i am real or not, I feel like I'm someone elses dream, does anyone else feel the same? Even when everything in my life is going extremely well, for months and months, i get the urge. I always thought that if i could just find happiness it would stop, but i am happy and it hasnt stopped. I suppose thats the nature of addiction: we need it regardless of how happy we are. I wish i had no feelings sometimes. Thanks for writing this, i felt so relieved reading it, i know I’m not alone in this but its hard to find others that REALLY understand what its like…. I started when I was 12, now I’m 29 and i still do it. I wish I didnt, god i wish i didnt but i get the urge and i have to, i dont understand why i cant ignore the urge. I never understood the thing about it being a release, for me it has always been a way to check if i really am real, if i actually exist. I know i exist when i do it but then in a few hours i forget; i cant remember what finding out that i am real felt like so i have to do it again. I wish there was another way. I’ve been in therapy since i was 13 and nothing has changed in regard to S.H.-ing, I fear it will always be the only way I can tell if i am real or not, I feel like I’m someone elses dream, does anyone else feel the same? Even when everything in my life is going extremely well, for months and months, i get the urge. I always thought that if i could just find happiness it would stop, but i am happy and it hasnt stopped. I suppose thats the nature of addiction: we need it regardless of how happy we are. I wish i had no feelings sometimes.

]]> By: Khloe http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-611 Khloe Sat, 17 Oct 2009 02:24:35 +0000 http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-611 all this seems like some1s read my mind abrt all this ialso feel like the few freimds i have told and trusted with i feel like im pushin them away and there gettin borded with me like they think its a game and that i do it for attention (but i dont)cos im the last person they wood fink of for self harmin cos im always hyped and crap i feel like nobody understands or gets it at all im glad i found this blog its helped alot all this seems like some1s read my mind abrt all this ialso feel like the few freimds i have told and trusted with i feel like im pushin them away and there gettin borded with me like they think its a game and that i do it for attention (but i dont)cos im the last person they wood fink of for self harmin cos im always hyped and crap i feel like nobody understands or gets it at all im glad i found this blog its helped alot

]]> By: Scott Barnes http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-585 Scott Barnes Mon, 21 Sep 2009 21:31:42 +0000 http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-585 Really nice thread, i read it all and understand how you feel and everything, (reading on might disturb you so just saying)i self harm because of how i feel inside this last weekend has been kinda rough starting on friday evening when i just snapped and had a go at my mums Bf that evening i left the house and came back about 1-2 in the morning i just walked round the streets for hours trying to get my head straight again, the next day i felt like shit, and i broke my shaver and took the blade out and spent about 20 minuites looking at it feeling really bad, then i put it to my arm and pulled it back fast it's the biggest cut i've done and when i saw the blood rush out i felt such a feeling of relief and my thoughts went away for a bit, about 30 mins later after i washed my arm off, i felt angry at myself and was feeling down, i took a metal chain i had from some necklace thing and whipped my arm quite a few times, the pain was sharp and quick and felt good then i punched my arm numb and stopped for about 40 mins i was feeling ok and i rested on my bed, then i felt anger rise up so i went in the garrage and had a bottle of beer and punched a boxing dummy constantly for about 5 mins my nuckles were so numb after and hurt when i touched them, the day after (yesterday) i wasn't so bad and just went to the dummy for 30 mins or so and pucnhed it, i've avoided my family for the last few days around the house and don't understand why i get so inoyed with them, with my mates i feel alot more relaxed, they don't judge me and we just have a nice time at college and down near the beach. i suffered from depression for about 3 or 4 years or so starting when i was about 11 or 12 (i can't remember properly) but it was soon after my parents split up (i dont blame my mum, my dad was horrid) and i attempted my only suicide attempt so far when i was about 14, i took an over dose of my anti depressents i took around 20 (what was left in the packet) i was in hospital for about 3 days and was scared the day i took them. i'm currently 16 years old and taking 4 GCSE courses in N.devon college i still get suicidal thoughts and feelings, and havent really self harmed for a while (not including this weekend). i've suffered from M.E a fatiuge illness for the last 2 years and that hasn't helped me at all tbh it has messed my life up more =( so that's kinda of my life from the time my depression started to now. I got over my depression about 2 years ago btw it's just self harming suicidal thoughts and a bit of M.E now :S. Thank you for reading this, i feel betteer now after writing this, i know i have kinda rambled on though ;). So once again thank you for this thread you wrote and thank you for reading my comment, Good luck everyone LY! xx Really nice thread, i read it all and understand how you feel and everything, (reading on might disturb you so just saying)i self harm because of how i feel inside this last weekend has been kinda rough starting on friday evening when i just snapped and had a go at my mums Bf that evening i left the house and came back about 1-2 in the morning i just walked round the streets for hours trying to get my head straight again, the next day i felt like shit, and i broke my shaver and took the blade out and spent about 20 minuites looking at it feeling really bad, then i put it to my arm and pulled it back fast it’s the biggest cut i’ve done and when i saw the blood rush out i felt such a feeling of relief and my thoughts went away for a bit, about 30 mins later after i washed my arm off, i felt angry at myself and was feeling down, i took a metal chain i had from some necklace thing and whipped my arm quite a few times, the pain was sharp and quick and felt good then i punched my arm numb and stopped for about 40 mins i was feeling ok and i rested on my bed, then i felt anger rise up so i went in the garrage and had a bottle of beer and punched a boxing dummy constantly for about 5 mins my nuckles were so numb after and hurt when i touched them, the day after (yesterday) i wasn’t so bad and just went to the dummy for 30 mins or so and pucnhed it, i’ve avoided my family for the last few days around the house and don’t understand why i get so inoyed with them, with my mates i feel alot more relaxed, they don’t judge me and we just have a nice time at college and down near the beach. i suffered from depression for about 3 or 4 years or so starting when i was about 11 or 12 (i can’t remember properly) but it was soon after my parents split up (i dont blame my mum, my dad was horrid) and i attempted my only suicide attempt so far when i was about 14, i took an over dose of my anti depressents i took around 20 (what was left in the packet) i was in hospital for about 3 days and was scared the day i took them. i’m currently 16 years old and taking 4 GCSE courses in N.devon college i still get suicidal thoughts and feelings, and havent really self harmed for a while (not including this weekend). i’ve suffered from M.E a fatiuge illness for the last 2 years and that hasn’t helped me at all tbh it has messed my life up more =( so that’s kinda of my life from the time my depression started to now. I got over my depression about 2 years ago btw it’s just self harming suicidal thoughts and a bit of M.E now :S. Thank you for reading this, i feel betteer now after writing this, i know i have kinda rambled on though ;) . So once again thank you for this thread you wrote and thank you for reading my comment, Good luck everyone LY! xx

]]> By: ben miles http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-571 ben miles Sun, 06 Sep 2009 09:06:51 +0000 http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-571 hello I understand what you mean I have the best family and wife and because of all the hurt been married 4 8 months and she can't cope and wants me to move out which makes head all over the please I am on so many pills I don't know if it helps or makes me feel worse I stay in bed a lot now which makes me think but I have lost the love of my life hello I understand what you mean I have the best family and wife and because of all the hurt been married 4 8 months and she can’t cope and wants me to move out which makes head all over the please I am on so many pills I don’t know if it helps or makes me feel worse I stay in bed a lot now which makes me think but I have lost the love of my life

]]> By: ben miles http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-570 ben miles Sun, 06 Sep 2009 08:48:56 +0000 http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-570 hello I am 32 years of age I stated when I was 16 then again when I was 21 then at 31 I got married to a lovely women with great kids and she love my little just as much been married 4 8 months and now she has told me its over she can't take no more and wants me to move out I have cut my arms legs and got a lighter and burned all my left arm I am scared of being on my on and lossing the best wife and family in my life hello I am 32 years of age I stated when I was 16 then again when I was 21 then at 31 I got married to a lovely women with great kids and she love my little just as much been married 4 8 months and now she has told me its over she can’t take no more and wants me to move out I have cut my arms legs and got a lighter and burned all my left arm I am scared of being on my on and lossing the best wife and family in my life

]]> By: kelly http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-532 kelly Thu, 30 Jul 2009 19:34:47 +0000 http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-532 i do the same thing x i do the same thing x

]]> By: kelly http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-529 kelly Sun, 26 Jul 2009 19:08:14 +0000 http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-529 im 14 and have been hurting myself since january. ive cared about a self harming friend since i was 11 and i think the stress of that was part of what triggered me to start myself (on top of other, personal things). i think the main thing is that everybody needs to know they are not alone, i know how people who dont understand react-particularly my parents- and i know that just makes the urges stronger. but there are many people out there who do, i thought me and my friend were the only ones at my school but ive recently made friends with 10 other self harmers. this may be a painful time, but there is always someone to talk to. if you are under 16 id recommend talking to the online counsellor at www.achancetotalk.com, and im sorry for taking up this space i just wanted to tell my story. take care xxx im 14 and have been hurting myself since january. ive cared about a self harming friend since i was 11 and i think the stress of that was part of what triggered me to start myself (on top of other, personal things). i think the main thing is that everybody needs to know they are not alone, i know how people who dont understand react-particularly my parents- and i know that just makes the urges stronger. but there are many people out there who do, i thought me and my friend were the only ones at my school but ive recently made friends with 10 other self harmers. this may be a painful time, but there is always someone to talk to. if you are under 16 id recommend talking to the online counsellor at http://www.achancetotalk.com, and im sorry for taking up this space i just wanted to tell my story. take care xxx

]]> By: B http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-511 B Fri, 17 Jul 2009 03:39:49 +0000 http://eliminatethestigma.wordpress.com/2007/12/23/some-true-confessions-of-a-self-harmer/#comment-511 I had to let my cuts heal so that I can wear short sleeves. I can't let my parents gert suspicious. Now its very awkward to avoid swimming and beaches. I can never wear shorts though, the scarring is too bad. I hope every day that no one questions my scars. I've lied a lot about them when people notice, saying things like the cat did it, or I was sleeping on my arm, and it left the marks. I hide them with my purse when I am out, but I am paranoid that someone will question me too closely, and my secret will be revealed. Its so wrong that I look forward to winter so I can cut my arms again. The stomach just isn't as satisfying. I had to let my cuts heal so that I can wear short sleeves. I can’t let my parents gert suspicious. Now its very awkward to avoid swimming and beaches. I can never wear shorts though, the scarring is too bad.

I hope every day that no one questions my scars. I’ve lied a lot about them when people notice, saying things like the cat did it, or I was sleeping on my arm, and it left the marks. I hide them with my purse when I am out, but I am paranoid that someone will question me too closely, and my secret will be revealed.

Its so wrong that I look forward to winter so I can cut my arms again. The stomach just isn’t as satisfying.

]]>